Ultimately all those questions we ask ourselves,
we can simplify, reduce to two: Who am I?
What is my purpose? And perhaps it was
soul-digging with an introspective shovel,
or maybe it was revelations like migraines,
an ache generated by seeing too much
and sleeping too little, or perchance it
was the process of discovering myself
through the lines I’ve written, but I’ve
realized that the answers are simple,
I’m just an i, never capitalized, never
more than my dreams or less than my
hypocrisy, and i don’t have a purpose,
because there is no destination in sight,
but savoring the good and bad is
overrated too, it’s like biting into an
orange without peeling off its skin,
or letting the switchblades of toxic
weather cut you, before lifting your arms,
standing at the edge of a cliff and letting
the breeze cool you off, and that’s just
something figurative, something a
movie implies that people take
a little too seriously, and so, some curious
might ask me a third question: What do I do?
Well, i don’t go hunting for hieroglyphs,
and then find traces of my ancestors
in me, they’re dead, and neither do i
quickly use a way to preserve my loved ones,
if there is one tomorrow, because they
aren’t going to wake up in a utopian
ideal where humanity has transcended
thought and form, no, it’ll be a post-apocalyptic
world where humanity has descended
worse than the Fallout series can ever convey,
but i don’t sit in a yogic pose for hours on
end either, meditating on a loss of direction,
no, i walk forward with no course,
and get to a place that has no meaning,
and i keep rules that make no sense,
and find emancipation through art
more than reason, though both are overrated,
overdone, overused, and these are the
contradictions that create freedom,
which is really only a concept, but i’ll
buy it anyway, because of a need to survive,
never in an extreme sense: despondency,
or loneliness taking over, because i’m past
that now, but in a minimal sense, surviving
denoting live, and if this went over your head,
it’s okay, i don’t understand!

© Nitin Lalit Murali (2018)

Protected by Copyscape

9 responses

    • Thank you very much. That means a lot. I do like changing things often. You have a pretty good blog too. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

  1. I find your themes rather interesting. Though, I might not agree with most of your viewpoints on most of them, but they all present an interesting case. Something to think upon. Great man! Keep sharing. And thank you for the complement!

    • It’s good to not agree, but yet find it interesting. That’s something I like in my readers, and I guess it’s something they’ll respect in me too. I like reading different people with unique perspectives too. I wasn’t always like this, but I guess time and experience changed me. And thank you, and you’re welcome.

  2. This may or may not be fiction. I can no longer decide knowing how you love playing around with your words. But I can remind you of your purpose and destination in any case. Also, you are brilliant.

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