When I blog about blogging

In this postmodern digital, post-millennial age filled with 16-year-olds going through drastic, dramatic identity crises and writhing in angst like a person who’s smoked too much bad weed that hits the lungs hard, you have these adolescents blogging about catastrophic relationship failures – the size of a 8.0 scale earthquake – and making the entire universe revolve around them. It’s such a despicable quest for identity and validation from strangers across the globe. The smiley (with its numerous devious forms) has replaced the hug, the like has replaced the warmth of a handshake – flesh meeting flesh, and browsing through blog after blog, hunting down followers is now a walk in Eden. Even the paperback or hardcover finds annihilation, because of the e-reader or iPad, which only makes you skip lines and not even visualize properly. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not just the young, it’s also time-traveling oldies which this post-apocalyptic wasteland called the ‘internet for acceptance’ has ensnared. And I’ve been there myself, trapped, crying for solace, watching the like button on Facebook or WordPress light up with the attention of a guard at the gate on duty during war, and fuck, I wasted time – years honestly, because if you put the hours together, you’ll get a clusterfuck of ages, which will stab you right in the stomach because you’re fucking responsible. But suffering shapes you, and it made me stop caring about likes or followers. I often unfollow and re-follow blogs, because of content reasons. Often their content appeals, and sometimes I’m disturbed. But hell, I can’t keep doing that too. I don’t want that to become my next cyber-heroin. I think too much time on the internet leads to a disassociation and a completely fragmented identity that can’t root itself on solid ground anymore, and soon you’ll find yourself talking in lols in the real world. You’ll become bat shit crazy and not in a good way. These days writing is about marketing too. Your content doesn’t have to be great, or hell, even good, if you know how to promote yourself. I find blogs about how to blog better, and I wonder if these people are writers or marketing professionals – zero imagery, zero analogy usage, zero storytelling, and just points like moles on parched skin: Do this, do this and do this. And then there are posts on blogging etiquette. Oh, for fucks sake! We aren’t at dinner at a Three Michelin Star restaurant. Now, here’s my perspective on guys flirting with women on blogs. Firstly, if you’re writing about sex, you aren’t going to get guys saying, “Lovely. Cheerio.” Well you’ll get some ‘gentlemen’ bloggers saying that, but here’s the irony: We’re not jacking off to your post with our light teasing. They are, because when you go to their blogs, you’ll find them in suits with impeccable manners, but re-blogging stuff only by women writers they literally venerate. And a lot of men can write better than those women about the same topic, but you won’t find a single re-blog of a post by a man, and these bastards who’re secret Batemans call us degenerates. Now sure, if a guy sends you something vulgar and downright disgusting, then he’s a creep. But if it’s an inside joke, or he’s just mildly teasing, you can ignore or delete, if you don’t like it, and he’ll get the point, but don’t rally up the women militia and scream ‘sexism’ because he’s probably laughing and sent you something while he chugged his beer down. And tomorrow you’re not in his head anymore. You are not the center of the universe and definitely not the center of the universe of every man who visits your blog, which isn’t even that good to begin with. Going back to content. Just write man. Write your heart out or let ideas float like bright images once the doors of perception are opened. I hope you get the allusion. And I’m talking about ideas that go against the grain of the overdone blog marketing: Fluent prose, sonnets, villanelles, satire, or nonfiction with imagery. Something different and out there, and why do you care so much about a like or a re-blog? Just let your consciousness soak your page, the syllables touching it lightly like a soft snare tap, or louder like a guitar smash. And then there’s this whole notion of staying true to yourself when you write – see, here’s the deal, your identity isn’t fixed; it’s subject to change by will or circumstances and as you evolve cognitively and emotionally, you’ll find yourself drawn away from cliché and tending to embrace the abstract or a richer, spicier storytelling, and you’ll want to experiment, to separate the artist from the artistry, or write about something alien, anticipating the trend or going against it, instead of embracing it. So, sort yourself out. Find peace in solitude if you’re lonely. Read books. Or socialize and make new friends and also write. Don’t become a social media junkie. Trust me you’re fucking with your neurotransmitters and I think getting stoned is a better, healthier way to do that!

© Nitin Lalit Murali (2018)

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37 thoughts on “When I blog about blogging

  1. Haha, you so nailed it! We seem to be suffering from emotional deprivation and desperately seeking affirmation from other’s. Have we been criticized, ignored, abandoned, neglected, abused or rejected by our primary caregivers?…who knows. I see more adults than adolescent’s chasing the attention of the opposite sex on WP, what happened to the dating sites? In some cases the more attention we receive happier we are, we thrive on being told we are lovely (not our work, particularly) we we put out a new selfie each day in hopes of catching the attention of …someone. Great post Nitin. I’m going to spare you an emoji.

    1. I think it’s all the things you’ve mentioned plus the fact that things are handed out to us on a platter these days. I guess if we lived forty years earlier, we’d have probably sought solace the right way, by going out and reading books. I don’t use dating sites and will never get into a WP relationship again! I think it’s better to join a book club and meet a person there and talk to her face to face. Yeah it’s this whole need for validation. I honestly am quite tired of selfies and I think I have three photos of myself lol. Thanks Holly. i love the last line!

      1. But I don’t read the people I’ve mentioned Holly. The last time I did which was ages ago, they took selfies, and now they’re reading me or I think they are. I’m just writing based on social observation, which is why I find WP so restrictive. People actually think I’m writing about them. I have no clue as to what is happening on the other side of the world, and I’m being brutally honest. In fact, I even removed acolytes who followed my blog. It’s crazy if they’re still writing about me. I have a relationship going on, and other things. And yeah don’t tell me what’s happening there. I’ll spare you the smiley this time.

    1. Thank you Chelsea. I’ve wanted to write this for a long time, but decided to only after I started practicing what I preach. Yeah a good conversation on this medium is a beautiful thing.

      1. I decided to write it only after I actually started practicing what I preach. Otherwise it’ll just be hypocrisy. Thanks again!

  2. Ah …. yes.
    But don’t you just love those Facebook posts that feature some fat 9 year-old in a wheelchair who has just found out that his leukaemia won’t kill him because the hole in his heart will get to him first, and all he wants is to be with his parents during his final days but they were killed in a plane crash last Wednesday and the post says “I bet we can’t get him 1000 likes”?

    1. Okay you have one dark sense of humor. I don’t read most of what people put up on Facebook. You’ll find all sorts of rubbish strewn. And when I post something there, I write for myself, just like when I write here. But yeah I’ve seen these posts. You and I both know that they’re a hoax designed to elicit sympathy, and then you have these fake tears and crap. Bah! The world is one fucked up place, I tell you.

      1. My observation would be that almost every post on Facebook is some sort of variant of what I describe. There is a popular mode of thinking that suggests that, if there is a ‘like’ button, then there should also be a ‘dislike’ button. I would take it a step further than that…… replace the ‘like’ button with a ‘dislike’ button. That way, when I make no comment and don’t push any button at all then people can recognise that what they have posted has not totally offended my senses.

      2. Haha. I’ve observed FB, but I disagree that every post is a variant. You can go grunge on FB; post stuff that is anti-social media by using the same platform. I do that. I critique society, hypocrisy and give importance to mental illness – being a sufferer of Bipolar Disorder myself – by saying that the sane and the insane exist in two separate realms, and that they’re way too normal to get us. I piss people off basically. I agree with the replacing of the like with the dislike button. That will help people actually stop taking pictures of ten books they’ve read in a two day vacation. They probably read ten pages.

      3. My Facebook presence is very limited. I try to be polite. I try to give the expected response …. like … “yeah. You are absolutely correct. I think that your cat is probably a genius. Nice tits, by the way.”

  3. Have all of us become emotionally retarded? Asking that may imply we weren’t retarded once
    but the chances are many of us have been retarded all our lives. You ARE on fire, Nitin, and i love it.
    You take the best care, you mean a lot to me.
    Always

    john

    1. I think people who lived before the internet boom may have been emotionally stable. People who live now are either emotionally retarded or too emotional (which is also retarded). But then again, there are so many factors which make an impact. So, I’m not sure. Thanks John. Always – Nitin.

    1. I say that because people I don’t read or bother about anymore, seem to interject themselves into my writing or I have been told at least, and I find their acolytes here, and I’m wondering what the hell is going on. I have a girlfriend. I’m at peace. I write for myself, and weird stuff by weird people happens all the time. So I remove the acolytes from my followers list. If it bothers, don’t read. Trust me, neurosis isn’t worth it lol

      1. I agree with you. I can’t speak about WP as I don’t interact with a lot of people here. But I used to do so on other platforms, and after learning my lessons there, I’m quite wary of people, especially online. I’m very selective about the people whom I permit to enter my inner circle.

      2. The thing is to not read people who bother you. Don’t visit their blogs or blogs by people who ardently follow them. Just put them out of your mind completely. As far as followers are concerned, well, some people from their inner circle come here, and play mind games by selectively liking only my provocative posts, which wasn’t aimed at anybody! They The best way to deal with such people is to remove them from your followers list, or to ignore them completely. You anyway don’t have a clue as to what’s going on on the other side. Like the old adage says, ignorance is bliss. Trust me, total, complete bliss

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