The tears will never flow again

This is an image of a bleak landscape. I chose it because it augments the tone of despondency in my poem which talks about failure and loss.

A Daughter song plays, making you nostalgic; teary-eyed
While you’re in your unhealthy room; the air so rancid and stale
Your friends have Masters; steady jobs with salaries and perks
They’ve cut through brambles of problems using scythes of constancy
You’ve wallowed in your doldrums; nailed to ashen, windswept walls
The whispers in your head are now echoes: grating, jarring, upsetting,
‘You’re a train wreck! An anathema so noxious! Fuck!’
Your little world that’s so deluded is crumbling and you don’t
Like watching as your placid waters roar and your skies turn red,
As your tranquil wood nymphs look with bestial stares and hate,
As trumpets blare and chariots of rage maraud the land,
As tigers of reality eat sheep of daft naïvety.
Your friends have found the lushest meadows after test and plague,
But darkness swallows you fully; tears at flesh and bone; sucks blood.
You’ll watch as dreams of you becoming an artist with books and poems
Also meets dust, and reduced to ashes you’ll try weeping,
But the tears won’t flow; the tears, they’ll never flow again

© Nitin Lalit Murali (2019)

3 responses

  1. I see this poem as the cry (even though “the tears won’t flow”) of the artist-writer who remains invisible and unsuccessful in our capitalist world. The following lines express how the other people around this person seem to be “successful” in the system:

    “Your friends have Masters; steady jobs with salaries and perks
    They’ve cut through brambles of problems using scythes of constancy”

    These verses above are a great contrast to what follows next, where the artist-writer is compared to a “train wreck”. (BTW, I like the use of “you” to include the reader of your poem)

    As I said before, the artist-writer’s life journey faces the difficulty to be understood by a too materialistic society where people value you for what you have and not for who you are. You express it very well all along the poem and especially in the final verses:

    “You’ll watch as dreams of you becoming an artist with books and poems
    Also meets dust, and reduced to ashes you’ll try weeping,
    But the tears won’t flow; the tears, they’ll never flow again”

    Here I would even interpret the tears not being able to flow as a metaphor for the artist-writer’s distress; it is so big that this person has already shed all the possible tears. Also, the flowing of creation, which should be perceived and valued, seems to be totally neglected and disregarded by the capitalist world. The flowing of tears belongs to the water element, which reminds me of T.S.Eliot’s poems like “The Waste Land” (section V.What the Thunder said):

    “If there were water
    And no rock
    And also water
    And water
    A spring
    A pool among the rock
    If there were the sound of water only”.

    I really love your poetry, Nitin. The topics you deal with, the deep philosophical content of your writing, etc., are similar to what my artist-writer friend Mario Savioni does in his writing. Please, take a look at his latest post, where I think you will find very much in common. Also, Mario Savioni deserves a thousand times more attention than my amateur writing attempts:
    https://savioni.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/new-year/

    • Thank you so much for such a beautiful comment Marta. I never looked at it from a political vantage point, until you mentioned it. Then the meaning of my piece became something about materialism and capitalism, and became something so much broader. So I really want to thank you again. My poem was a confessional of sorts, but I’m so glad you were able to relate to it the way you did. I love that passage from the Waste Land. It’s one of those poems which has certain sections that I adore and certain sections which I don’t like very much. I’m so glad you like my writing. I followed your friend Mario. I look forward to reading his work and more of yours. And trust me, yours is a far cry from being amateur poetry.

      • Thank you so much, Nitin. We interpret poems as each one of us sees the world, and also according to past personal experiences. I have always been interested in politics and philosophy, which I often connect to arts and literature. Thank you for following Mario’s work and for encouraging my writing. I am flattered.

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