Finding my own

This is a black and white image of trains. I've chosen it because it represents life in motion, which is the essence of my poem.

I’ve often wondered if this tarmac path
now fractured — densely coated with fool’s gold
embodies my spindrift life — plague and wrath
the mirror now reflects what I don’t hold

It lies without — past costly flats and greed
past quilted beds and lives too far from home
I’ve pondered, wondered if there’s more to need
and would like walking its route — simply roam

But chairs stay still like ties we can’t break from
and light bulbs just glow with no feeling
and modern cabinets keep us lost, numb —
a life without approach to meaning

I’ve often wondered if screams coat my silence
or if it’s fading circumstance and hence —

© Nitin Lalit Murali (2019)

3 responses

  1. “modern cabinets…” that was such a powerful, insightful line, imho, and so widely encompassing,

    and then I thought of our filing cabinet, the joy I had in shredding so much of the old paper work in there, and I am not kidding. I took a couple of days to just shred things. It was far more therapeutic than I anticipated.

    • The impulse to tear something like paper or crush a paper cup or crack a joint is always strangely therapeutic. I sometimes watch chiropractor videos on YouTube. There’s this guy who uses something called the Y strap which is for spinal therapy. So it basically cracks all the joints in your spine and neck! So good!

      • haha that is so interesting, I did not see that coming…about the chiropractor I mean. I see one regularly for my scoliosis, and there is definitely a sense of your whole body sighing a sigh of relief.
        The paper work as well, contained so many different memories, it was great to cleanse so much of it out!
        (Thanks for the email. Will get back to you when I can).

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