this is a picture of a man looking at a display of fireworks. I've used this image because I interpret it as a man watching his dreams from afar. He doesn't know if they'll ever materialize.

I’ve spent my life exploring works of those renown
Hoping some scintilla of touch would enrich
This tumbledown estate where weeds and vines unsown
Plague, afflict and curse with harvests never rich

And sometimes words like fireflies glow in my weak mind
Sparkling with exuberance, they guide the pen
I hold. They tell the world that I’m lost and confined
Living a subdued existence in some den

But there has to be more to life than strife and pain
More than clichés like, “We live for art alone.”
There must be wealth of circumstance, bestowing gain
On our hearts as we meander to the throne

But then our dreams are misty fairy tales and lore
Making us just waste our lives, demanding more

© Nitin Lalit Murali (2019)

9 Replies to “A sonnet to existence”

  1. I think it is human nature to overlook simple joys. I mean, I believe there is more to life than strife and pain, but this might be better in an email?

    As far as realism goes…”And sometimes words like fireflies glow in my weak mind
    Sparkling with exuberance, they guide the pen
    I hold…” Your mind and your talent are far beyond this… just saying :)

    1. You are right. When I was young I thrived on the simple joys of life, but now that I’m older the grand scheme of things leads me to despair. And thank you for such a generous comment Vanessa. It’s very inspiring and uplifting.

  2. You are a seeker true, Nitin ✌️

    Not a single tear
    falls into the ocean
    without changing the depth.
    Not a single word is spoken
    without an echo.
    Not a single life is lived
    without changing the world.
    ~Lloyd A Dempsey II

    1. Thank you for such a beautiful comment David. You’ve brought me to the positive side of existentialism for now. Here’s a quote in response to yours –

      When it’s over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms

      -Mary Oliver

  3. we are all, looking for the meanings of our own separate existence in our own lives, and sometimes, we’d, needed to, search for, a very, very, very long time to find it, and sometimes, even as we’d, searched for a very long time, we still, don’t find it, and we can only, keep, looking…

    1. Thank you Sean. My quarter life crisis (I’m quoting John Mayer here) began when I was 24 and still accompanies me. It’ll soon become a middle age crisis if smoking doesn’t kill me. So I think I understand.

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