“Master Toshi! Master Toshi! Now that I’ve mastered the monkey crane wing kick and the oxtail punch, what must I do?”

“You must learn the dead crow mountain slap.”

“Master Toshi! Master Toshi! Look after 15 tries, I’ve learnt it. Now, the enemies of peace will shudder!”

“There is always much to learn. Find the cadence of the breeze and learn the one-legged stork stance; watch the sparrow eat and learn the bird fist peck. Learning is like a waterfall that forever cascades. It has no beginning or end. And that’s the goal: becoming one with the present.”

“Master Toshi! Master Toshi! I voyaged to distant lands to listen to the wail and whisper of the wind and now have mastered the one-legged stork stance. I watched both the sparrow and the eagle and learnt the bird fist peck. I stood by the waterfall and watched it for days before I was and was not. I was one with the waterfall, or it was one with me. It was an epiphany of being and non-being, and I became the present. Now the enemies of peace will definitely shudder!”

“You have progressed far. But there is still one thing you haven’t learnt. It’s the kangaroo jump elbow. No one will ever learn it because of the Kangaroo God who cursed us when we slew his offspring. Thus, we might be and not be, find the present, touch eternity, defeat the enemies of peace, but we’ll never learn the move because we’re damned.”

“Master Toshi! Master Toshi! After months under a banyan tree, the gates of the invisible realm opened to me, and I walked in and slew the Kangaroo God. The curse doesn’t affect us anymore. Before slaying him, I made him teach me the move. Look! I’ll show you.”

“Nigga, you can’t be serious! I’mma beat your smug ass! Here I am, spending years trying to fight the curse, and you crush it in months! Motherfucker! I’mma shoot you! All this Kung Fu garbage for nothing! If there is a God above, he’s dead. Oh wait, you killed him! Bitch! Always wanting to learn more, and never satisfied. Where’s my shotgun at! Gimme my damn shotgun!”

© Nitin Lalit Murali (2019)

Image by Nina Garman from Pixabay

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